Life Changes

SB: We were talking about how a professional organizer can be helpful when a family is going through a transition.

HR: Right, there are a lot of examples over the course of the “family life cycle” that come to mind: marriage, moving/selling a home, kids growing out of their stuff or going off to college, divorce, preparing to downsize, retirement, or moving into assisted living. What do you think these transitions have in common?

SB: Maybe one thing is that they are points where people are re-evaluating their priorities and needs, and with that, re-examining their attachments to their stuff.

HR: So some of their possessions may have outlived their usefulness or might not be relevant to this current stage of their life. But how do you advise your clients when they worry, “I might need this again at some point”?

SB: There are a couple of approaches that come to mind. One is considering whether keeping all the stuff is worth the cost of feeling overwhelmed in a cluttered space on a daily basis. The other involves re-evaluating where that fear of “I might need it later” is coming from. Is it possible that those possessions are associated with a past identity that you aren’t living in the present?

HR: So like the long-retired professor and their boxes of outdated textbooks?

SB: Sure, or the “fix-it” person who keeps every spare nut, bolt, and screw, but hasn’t actually repaired anything for years.

HR: So it’s a lot more psychological than people sometimes realize. It’s about an attachment to an image of yourself that you don’t want to let go of, whether it’s an identity you’ve had in the past, or one that you aspire to regain at some point in the future. And letting go of that can entail a mourning process.

SB: Yes, and that’s why I consider it so important to meet the client where they’re at. I tell my clients that they are in the driver’s seat, and that I’m the co-pilot. I’m not there to make those decisions for them. I always strive to be sensitive to the fact that it’s a personal process, and one that they need to take at their own pace.