Life Changes

SB: We were talking about how a professional organizer can be helpful when a family is going through a transition.

HR: Right, there are a lot of examples over the course of the “family life cycle” that come to mind: marriage, moving/selling a home, kids growing out of their stuff or going off to college, divorce, preparing to downsize, retirement, or moving into assisted living. What do you think these transitions have in common?

SB: Maybe one thing is that they are points where people are re-evaluating their priorities and needs, and with that, re-examining their attachments to their stuff.

HR: So some of their possessions may have outlived their usefulness or might not be relevant to this current stage of their life. But how do you advise your clients when they worry, “I might need this again at some point”?

SB: There are a couple of approaches that come to mind. One is considering whether keeping all the stuff is worth the cost of feeling overwhelmed in a cluttered space on a daily basis. The other involves re-evaluating where that fear of “I might need it later” is coming from. Is it possible that those possessions are associated with a past identity that you aren’t living in the present?

HR: So like the long-retired professor and their boxes of outdated textbooks?

SB: Sure, or the “fix-it” person who keeps every spare nut, bolt, and screw, but hasn’t actually repaired anything for years.

HR: So it’s a lot more psychological than people sometimes realize. It’s about an attachment to an image of yourself that you don’t want to let go of, whether it’s an identity you’ve had in the past, or one that you aspire to regain at some point in the future. And letting go of that can entail a mourning process.

SB: Yes, and that’s why I consider it so important to meet the client where they’re at. I tell my clients that they are in the driver’s seat, and that I’m the co-pilot. I’m not there to make those decisions for them. I always strive to be sensitive to the fact that it’s a personal process, and one that they need to take at their own pace.

Too Much Stuff!

HR: So our topic for this conversation is consumerism. I’m not going to bore you with statistics, but it’s no secret that we Americans buy a lot of stuff.

SB: This is something that I’ve been re-evaluating for myself lately.

HR: Do you mean you're going to stop buying shoes? 🙂

SB: Well, from an organizing perspective, one of the challenges is that many of us already have a lot in our homes, but we keep bringing in more stuff through new purchases. If you’re routinely bringing in, but not paring down, what happens?

HR: I guess that’s how you start feeling overwhelmed by the amount of stuff you have. Maybe another part of this cycle is the mood boost that many of us get from shopping. I remember how the Amazon deliveries during the pandemic were pretty much the highlight of our day. But then it becomes a question of “How much is enough?”

SB: I don’t feel like it’s my role to give people advice on how to spend their money, but I can help my clients decide what’s worth keeping. And to align their choices about their stuff with their priorities, values, and goals.

HR: Can you give me an example?

SB: Often people want a system that works better with their lifestyle. Like a system for doing laundry, or keeping up with dishes, or filing documents, or storing their kids’ sports equipment. What I often ask is: “What are the trouble spots in your home?” and that gives me some clues about how I can help them feel less burdened.

HR: That makes sense to me from a psychological perspective. I know that clutter stresses me out.

SB: Yes, when you look around your home and just see visual reminders of all the things you need to take care of everywhere, it takes a lot of mental energy. And when that happens day after day, it’s just exhausting. So every day, it’s like a set of boxes that don’t get checked. When someone pulls into their garage and thinks about how much they hate it, and feels bad for not taking care of it, that takes a toll.

HR: So that’s where there are potential long-term benefits to getting organized.

SB: Exactly. I want to help my clients be at peace in their homes.

Getting Started: Why is it so difficult?

HR: So, why is it so hard for many people to get started on their organizing projects?

SB: These projects have often been put off for a long time, and being stuck can really make people feel bad about themselves.

HR: Say more about that - bad in what way?

SB: There can be lots of reasons - they may feel stressed, or overwhelmed – maybe they’ve been putting it off for so long because they don’t know where to start. Sometimes they’re afraid of what they could find during the process, and are anticipating how difficult decision-making will be with possessions that have a lot of emotions attached to them.

HR: So sometimes, dread is a barrier, too. How can people get over that hurdle?

SB: As I mentioned in the previous post, it can be helpful to start small, with a project that can be finished in 15-20 minutes.

HR: That reminds me of some advice from a psychologist colleague of mine (Dr. Glenn Hirsch) who had specialized in academic skills for college students. When his students were struggling with procrastination, he would encourage them to commit to studying for just 5 minutes at a time. Often, they would find that once they got started, it wasn’t so bad, and they would work for longer than originally planned.

SB: That’s true with organizing, too - once people get started, it’s easier for them to continue. Sometimes when I’m working with Giddy-Up! clients, we find other ways to make the experience less dread-inducing, like listening to music or watching Netflix while we organize. It can even help to find a comfortable spot to sit, and to have a favorite snack or beverage on hand.

HR: I think your clients find your presence supportive as well.

SB: Yes, I think the accompaniment of a friend, family member, or a professional organizer can be that “giddy-up” that people need to get started. Working with another person helps create accountability. It’s a commitment to dedicating time and energy to the project. If you need help getting started, that’s definitely not a failure, character flaw, or skill deficit – asking for help is actually a sign of courage!

When to Call In “Back-Up”

HR: I think a lot of people delay organizing spaces in their home based on the notion that “I’ll get around to it someday.” When do you think it’s time to reach out to a professional home organizer?

SB: Barbara Hemphill is credited with the quote “clutter is nothing more than postponed decisions.” So working with a professional organizer makes sense when you’ve committed to making some of those decisions, but are still struggling to make it happen.

HR: So what are some of the benefits of working with a professional organizer?

SB: My clients typically feel like a burden has been lifted. They will often say, “This feels so good, but I wouldn’t have been able to do it on my own.”

HR: That reminds me of a concept that is used frequently in the field of education: “scaffolding.” It speaks to the difference between what you’re capable of on your own, versus what you’re capable of doing with help. So what do you think it takes for folks to ask for that kind of help?

SB: People come to a point where they don’t want to live this disorganized, cluttered, overwhelmed way anymore. They feel like they’re owned by their stuff, rather than the other way around.

HR: So what kind of scaffolding or support do you provide?

SB: With Giddy-Up! Organizing, I can work alongside my clients on an ongoing basis, or if they prefer, I can just help them get started with their organizing project. When they’re feeling overwhelmed, it’s really important not to try to tackle the whole thing at once. Along with doing the work, I help with prioritizing and breaking down large tasks into manageable “chunks.” I often suggest starting with a single unit, like a drawer, closet, or pantry. Once we “corral” some of the chaos, it helps my clients gain confidence and momentum to tackle the next step.

Welcome to my Blog!

Hi!

I’m Suzanne Berg, owner of GiddyUp! Organizing. I come to professional organizing with a background in Occupational Therapy and Special Education. My husband, Hussein Rajput, is a counseling psychologist at Hamline University in St. Paul.

When I started this business, Hussein and I began talking about how having well-organized and functional spaces in our home feels foundational to our daily life and our wellbeing. We also discussed some of the common barriers that lead people to feeling dissatisfied and overwhelmed by their living spaces. With that in mind, we decided to create this blog to share some thoughts about the joys and challenges of getting organized!

Disclaimer: This blog is intended to explore ideas about the relationship between organized living and wellbeing. However, none of the content within is intended as advice for diagnosing, treating, preventing, or curing a mental health condition. If you feel that mental health issues are contributing to your difficulties with staying organized, we encourage you to check out the Find A Therapist feature at Psychology Today.com.